i was out yesterday at a hospital with a bunch of youngsters...most of them atleast a decade younger to me... there was so much excitement, so much hope, so much vision all around.. got to talk to a few of them, with questions preceded by my favourite address - didi ! kids just fresh out of school... all trying to be world-wise, learning the ways of the world...infact, some seemed a lot world-wiser than my old self !
and for a brief moment, i contemplated how it would feel to work around these young tots ! fresh-faced bubbly little chums ! i wondered if they had something i had lost in the process of growing up - not the vivacity, nor curiosity...i have enough stock of these... but wide-eyed hope !
with age comes a maturity, a general acceptance of things the way they are.. you know what is and what isnt within your power to do or to control. you know certain things are best left to destiny.. it does not mean you succumb without a fight, but that the giving up of arms comes after a great deal of thought - it means you know you cannot keep fighting destiny with worn-out tools only designed to make a fool of you, but you also know to keep your eyes and ears open for that chance opening of a door, that transient parting of clouds that lets in just a streak of hope.
with age, comes a confidence, from knowledge, but also from ignorance. you know the strength of your powers, of your knowledge, but you also know its limitation. you know when to open your mouth and when to keep it shut lest you become famed for your foot-in-mouth syndrome !
with age, comes a purpose to life, a proper listing of priorities, a set-out agenda.. which makes the little defeats of life bearable.
with age, comes self-realization... where one knows what one truly wants,yearns,craves for...
with age, one understands enough to know what is accepted of you from society, and still has respect for the deeper,truer feelings of the heart - and the fine line that distinguishes the two is at once all too clear, and yet too maleable and pointless.
with age comes love.. when finally the quest is over, the quench satiated, the heart is at rest and the realization that love is,love can be, dawns with a maddening brilliance.
with age, comes an inner peace from the turmoils around.. because you begin to see the deeper human nature lurking through human behaviour.. you know people never intend to hurt, they just want to reinstate the validity of their existence.. and mostly are too afraid to say they are afraid, and what vents out as anger and insult is just fear.
with age comes humility, with age comes self respect, with age comes beauty - the wrinkles and greying notwithstanding :)
for what is ageing but a gradual,beautiful unfolding of the person that is you, an inward journey to find what lies at the core of one's being...strengths,weaknesses,courage,timidity,laughter,sadness,joy,tears,love,acceptance,denial,wanting,dreaming...
and so, when i go today, i know i will be at a lot more ease, knowing i have something they are yet to achieve .. and absorb the atmosphere of excitement and curiosity and feel very much at home.
